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“What I wanted for my friends, and for myself, was no more self-pity.
She explains, “When my friend said he was in a non-relationship, I knew exactly what he meant – I’ve had several.
You sleep together sometimes, but you know you don’t love each other, and the future of the story is not moving in together and getting married, or even hanging out more than once or twice a week.” For some reason we can only speak in euphemisms when it comes to these in-between encounters and Witt tells me this is symptomatic of our lack of regard for them.
It is the story of one woman’s quest to find fulfilment in sex when love is not available.
Witt tells me that her first step was to unravel every assumption she had formed about herself and what she wanted from life and relationships, especially marriage: “For me, getting married was like going to college, something that represented a certain kind of success in life.
I had to let myself think, what if that doesn’t work out for me?
What other ways of feeling accomplished and successful can I find that also acknowledge the reality of my sexuality?” In Future Sex, she participates in orgasmic meditation, a practice in which one person gently strokes another’s clitoris for 15 minutes.She interrogates her own rejection of pornography, and goes to a violent pornographic film shoot.The conversation is free, confidential and non-judgemental.You can keep talking to your mentor as long as you like and there is never a fee.She tells me, “I’d been assuming this time was going to end at some point – but what if it didn’t end?