I know plenty of girls in my industry who have partners who are not in the business and who are quite happy.

Contrary to what people will tell you, just as there are tons of people who would never date a sex worker, there are also plenty of people in prestigious occupations with designer educations that would LOVE to marry a porn star.

I wasn’t really interested in getting emotionally invested in someone else.

I’m pretty good at sussing people out, and he’d dropped enough hints in the conversation over dinner for me to figure out that he’d have some questions about the porn thing and it would definitely cause some conflict.

The chemistry was nice, but I decided that he wasn’t worth the trouble. My brother came to visit me for the holidays, touting the virtues of a new dating app called Tinder. I could put myself out there without any pictures from work, get some responses to people that were genuinely into me, and then I could come out if we made it past a few dates.

They’d probably get into a high fiving contest with their friends.

In the first year of being single, I just kind of reveled in my freedom. If I wanted great sex with a hot guy who wasn’t going to try to bog me down in emotional stuff, I could just call one of my coworkers.

Netflix is like weed to me, and I have a diet that involves things called ‘cheat days’ and ‘shame spirals.’ I like the words ‘overmuch’ and ‘evermore.’ I’m a feminist and progressive and have a graduate education and really strong views about the wage gap.

I write for an edutainment program about history on You Tube, I have a podcast, and, also, I’m a porn star.”This little chunk of text actually served me well. What I learned is that a lot of people know someone who is in the adult industry and a lot of people don’t really mind potentially fucking a girl that fucks professionally.

And so that’s what I did for a while; just slept with my work friends who kept it cool but satisfied the physical urges with the added bonus of no explanations required.

It wasn’t until a year later when I started shooting scenes with men as well that it hit me.

My phone was buzzing immediately with more “matches” than I could keep up with.