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While your husband’s lack of desire is certainly a problem, it is most likely not a problem with you.
In fact, most sexual problems aren’t sexual at all. We sometimes have the idea that for men, the sexual experience is detached from what is going on inside.
Others give into their attractions to other women, leading to emotional and/or physical affairs.
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Donalyn: So in reality, he has as much need for sexuality as ever; he is just getting those needs met elsewhere. Pornographic movies and books, phone services, and strip clubs are rampant.
Some men find release in voyeurism: scoping women out and fantasizing about them later.
Coming at him with guns blazing will only push him further away, so be gentle in your approach.
Donalyn: I would ask him how you should interpret his lack of interest.
Donalyn: Well first of all, there is nothing wrong with you!
The first response of most women in your situation is to second-guess or blame themselves.
You need to have an honest talk with your husband, but do it in love.
Rather than attacking, grilling or blaming him, share your struggles with him.
Even if you suspect that it is more a problem on his end rather than a problem with you, approach it sensitively. Realize that this is an extremely difficult thing for a man to talk about.