As Bev's husband, I share my life with a guide and mentor who knows her way around.

Instead of a dependent, I have an assured, self-reliant partner who loves me for who I am rather than what I have.

My advice to men is this: open your hearts and minds to older women. Despite our nine year age difference, Bev and I are dealing with many of the same life issues.

confessions of a cougar dating younger men-83

Upon meeting Beverly, a good friend commented, "You'll always be a younger lover." He was more right than he knew. I never made love seven times in one weekend with a younger woman. When I first kissed Bev, a whole new world opened up to me. Middle-aged men are often plagued by an internal scorekeeper who assesses their sexual performance. There is only patience, intimacy and tenderness-the greatest aphrodisiac of all.

Adventuresome young men were once advised to "Go West." Today, older women are the new frontier.

He takes another path, and it makes all the difference. The answers may lead them into the arms of an older woman.

We all need partners who help us find our way, give more than they take, and love us for who we are. Twenty-five years ago I met the older woman who shares my life. Instead of keeping my nose to the grindstone, I have a wife and partner who shares the load.

They are far more likely than women to die of heart disease, commit suicide, or be institutionalized.

As one man put it, "I feel like I'm running, but I don't even know what I'm chasing any more." Men often seek younger women, but they'd do so much better with older ones. "Younger guys already have their own youth, so they don't need to recapture it," I pointed out. Older women will attract younger men when they believe they can." "It's not that easy," Bev declared, "Men hold all the cards.You just proved it." She caressed my face, looked into my eyes, and replied, "I've never given myself to anyone like I have to you, Chris. "Maybe just the eyes," she added, "Or liposuction for this," she frowned, gripping her stomach. "Plastic surgery is wonderful for people who need it, but six million procedures a year is a crime. " "When we're out, people smile at us because we look so happy," I said.I'll never love anyone like I love you." "Where have you been all my life? "I've died and gone to heaven." The next morning, Bev gazed at herself in the bathroom mirror and didn't like what she saw. It's much more dangerous than people think, and it's demeaning for women to think they have to wound themselves to compete." "But everybody's doing it," Bev continued, ignoring me. "I'm obviously not your son, but if anyone asks, try saying, 'No, I already have a son,' or "No, he's my lover," or better yet, "Why do you ask? "I wish I was younger." "There's a double standard of beauty for men and women, but you're already gorgeous.Of course, the sultry allure of older women is nothing new. In contrast to men, women in their 40's and 50's are at their sexual peak.In , a novel about a young man's passion for an older woman, French author Gustave Flaubert describes the August of a woman's life as "a period which combines reflection and tenderness, when the maturity which is beginning kindles a warmer flame in the eyes, when strength of heart mingles with experience of life, and when, in the fullness of its development, the whole being overflows with a wealth of harmony and beauty." Then, there's the sex. I never flew across the country for a romantic afternoon with a younger woman. They have an aura that comes from experience, maturity, and self-confidence.I've been talking with couples like us, and time after time, younger men appreciate what older men don't." "Why are younger men interested in older women? "Come out with your hands up." "I'll never come out alive, copper," I hissed.