For me, Theo and Isha has been and continues to be worth the effort.

Isha is traveling for a year with the Buddhist organization she’s a part of while Theo finishes his doctorate program.

I like comparing the books and pictures on their own sides of the bed.

We work better separately than we do as a threesome.

They tend to visit me separately in Chicago, a chance to be independent from each other, and a chance to be with me as individuals.

And I’m very aware that if I date them, it will be very different than dating Isha and Theo. I briefly dated two other couples, as well as dipped my toe into swinging. For one thing, I worry about adding more people into my life than I have time for.

Thankfully, no one has high expectations of me, nor I them.

It’s like an intimate peak into the lives of two people.

I’ve learned that I like being their “third wheel.” I like being included in their teeth-brushing ritual.If it's been about six months and he hasn't dropped one hint about where he sees this going, casually speak up, says Jennifer Kelman, a licensed social worker and relationship expert at For example, if you'd like him to meet your parents, ask if he'd be up for going out to dinner with them, but let him know there's no harm if he's not quite ready for that yet.They are considerate of each other, and I find they think about fairly sharing me.I’ve also learned to accept that our relationships are all very different.Talk about blurred lines."Every person and relationship is different, and there's no magic phrase or action that can 'get' someone to commit," says Terri Trespicio, a lifestyle and relationship expert based in New York City. One thing to look out for: If he's acting extremely jealous or policing your every move, you need to really reevaluate things.